I Wrote 'Walking on Eggshells?' Especially For You

I'll get straight to the point: 

Gaslighting and emotional manipulation hurt so damn bad.

And knowing that it's happening doesn't tell you how to make it stop.

You can't. But, you can learn to navigate it.

How do I know? I've been through it MULTIPLE times.

Here’s what really kept me stuck: 

1. Confusion. It was subtle. It seemed like "misunderstandings". I figured "all couples argue" and I had insecurities and thought, "maybe I am too sensitive". 
2. Repetition. I’d had worse relationships before...I thought "at least this one isn't like that".  I felt like "I chose this".
3. Love. When it was good, it was REALLY f*cking good. And, I'd invested a lot into the relationship. I just wanted to get back to the good.
4. Hope. I kept believing the good moments meant this time would be different. And, I wanted my family to work.
5. Shame. I felt stupid for staying. For not leaving sooner. For “knowing better” and still trying. Still loving.

If any of the following sounds even close to what you're dealing with, I truly believe you'll find relief from what I've shared in Walking on Eggshells?...

• You're told you're "too sensitive", "overreacting", "dramatic" - Sometimes you wonder if it's true.

• You stop bringing things up because you already know how it'll go: They’ll twist it. Minimize it. Flip the script. Blame you. Act cold.

• The confusion and chaos make you feel like you're losing your mind - you second guess your own memory and reality.

• You feel isolated, abandoned— even though you’re not technically alone. On edge. Watching your tone. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

• It gets harder to trust yourself so you talk yourself out of your feelings or suppress them.

• Maybe you snap, match their energy and that gets used against you and you feel worse.

• You don't recognize yourself anymore and feel "lost" in the mind f*ck – constantly trying to figure out what version of you is acceptable.

• And the SHAME, oh God - the shame - from judgment, for "choosing this", "letting them" and "putting up" with this sh*t! 

• Then, there's the love. The hope. The good times. The mix of longing and grief for the person you know they can be. The one you fell for. 

I wrote this for you to know that you can change the situation*—even while you’re still in the situation.

• To stop blaming yourself for “choosing wrong.”

• To stop letting shame (or the other person) convince you that you are the problem. That it's all in your head.

• To break free from the vicious cycles and emotional roller coasters that re-injure the same wounds and make you question yourself.

*If you are at risk of immediate danger, this resource may not be for you. Stop reading immediately or get help here .*

When you’re this confused and overwhelmed, it doesn’t just hurt—it robs you of your ability to trust yourself.

Of course, you can't control the other person. 

What makes a real difference is when you realize that you can control how you choose to interact with that person—and that gives you power over how their behaviors affect YOU.

I taught myself to do just that—while I stayed in it—and I want to share it with you.

My breaking point (and what actually changed)

I learned my partner had betrayed me—again. And even with clear evidence of his lies, he had the audacity to keep gaslighting the sh*t out of me.

I had to do something but, I had no idea what that was.

I prayed for clarity.
I searched “emotional affair” on Google.
I read books.
I watched YouTube.
I continued therapy.

I learned that I was dealing with narcissistic abuse. I hated that word. 

Then, I realized the word didn’t matter.

How it felt is what mattered. 

And how it felt was sh*tty and heartbreaking.

Still, getting all that clarity didn’t tell me what to do about my relationship.

But it did help me realize that I wasn’t imagining things. That I wasn’t crazy. That what was happening was meant to keep me confused and doubting myself.

So while it didn’t give me instant answers about whether to stay or leave…it did help me to start trusting myself, stand strong in my truth, and take my power back—all while staying in the relationship.

Not because I was weak or didn’t know better, but because deciding whether to leave was complicated—and it was my right to move at my pace and on my terms.

That sh*t wasn’t easy.

But once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. And as painful as that was, staying stuck in the same vicious cycles was more painful.

Knowing something is wrong doesn’t tell you what to do about it. I had to figure that part out on my own.

That's why I wrote this. So that you don't have to.

I learned how to shift my experience and feel relief without having to blow up my entire life. This taught me that:

“Things don’t have to change for things to change.” (— Me)

Now, you don’t have to spend another day feeling stuck and confused.

  I WANT RELIEF

Who This Is For

This is for you if:

• You're searching for answers because something feels deeply wrong but it's hard to make sense of what's actually happening
• You're exhausted from trying to explain yourself and never being heard
• You know this isn't right, but when you try to talk about it, you end up feeling blamed, dismissed, or even more hurt
• You react in ways you don't recognize and those reactions get used against you
• You can’t figure out why you can’t just leave even though you know something has to change
• You walk on eggshells constantly but the rules keep shifting no matter what you do

This may NOT be for you if:

• You're in physical danger and this type of content could put your safety at further risk (get help here)
• You're looking for me to diagnose or label you or your partner (that's unethical)
• You want someone to tell you what to do (leave, stay, fix it)
• You're already out of the situation and want different support — many people have said it’s still helpful even after leaving
• You want therapy or clinical advice — I encourage you to connect with a therapist directly